A couple of weeks ago I had the wonderful opportunity to have two full days to myself at home while my sons were at camp and my husband at work. It was fantastic, but I think the only reason it was is because of the many friends who have had their own personal retreats who have shared with me what worked for them. The number one tip friends have shared is to plan for the personal retreat, otherwise the distractions will keep you from doing what you intend.
I hesitate to encourage you to have a personal planning retreat because I get the hard dynamics that make it impossible – whether financial, family needs, or a lack of support.
My oldest is entering grade 9 and this was my first personal planning retreat where I was truly alone for an extended period of time. I have done them other years at home, either having a couple hours to myself when my husband took the boys out or with my children being asked to give me a few hours to myself – and it is NOT the same thing! But it was all I had available. If you are in a season of life where having extended time by yourself without others around you is impossible I would encourage you to make the most of what you do have. If reading this makes you sad for not having your own personal retreat, then stop reading. Consider what you have available, and make the most of what you do have.
If, however, you are in a season where you can have some time alone for quiet and planning, I cannot emphasize enough how transformative it is to go hours without being asked a question about what’s for lunch or where a child’s left sandal might be.
I did my personal retreat at home since everyone was gone. I would actually always pick this over me going away somewhere! Having seen the benefit of this personal planning retreat my husband offered to pay for a hotel for a night for me in the future … and I suggested he and the boys use the hotel and do something fun, and leave me at home! haha. It would be a different type of retreat to get away on my own at a hotel – less hands on planning and organizing and more resting and writing I would imagine.
When I knew what my personal retreat days would be I made a list of my objectives. First and foremost was to plan out grade nine for my oldest. We follow amblesideonline and LOVE it! But grade nine is a whole new level of planning from previous years and I knew I needed hours to devote to planning it out and wrapping my head around it.
Well before my two days I made a list of the things I wanted to do on that set aside Monday and Tuesday. This included time for personal enjoyment like reading and painting, some organizing and cleaning of spaces, and planning the upcoming school year. It actually turned out to be super helpful to have the list as when my personal retreat time came around I felt like I should do some practical things like organize the attic and having my preplanned list kept me on task – ensuring I did the fun and enjoyable parts of my plan as well as the practical items AND kept me from being over ambitious and doing things not on my list.
One of the things I either read or a friend told me was that having reading material that you don’t typical read helps foster the personal retreat feeling. I have always wanted to read Taproot magazine so ordered a copy for myself to read over those two days. It is an ad free publication for “makers, doers, and dreamers.” It was fun having something different to read, but I found I enjoyed having my current reads with me, too, and spent hours reading (and finishing!) some books I had been reading for awhile.
Another thing I preplanned was my meals. I found a lovely sparkling rose lemonade and bought it for myself to enjoy with my meals and then picked up some easy to prepare dishes for myself that were waiting for me in the freezer when it was time for my personal retreat. My husband encouraged me to go out to eat on my own, and really it doesn’t bother me to eat out by myself but I much preferred not leaving the house and enjoying meals at home.
This might be super silly to many, but I also picked up a special plate for myself to use over my planning retreat. I found a cute little crystal plate that was almost more like a little tray – it is rectangular and has a large portion for your main dish and then two smaller sections, one holds a matching crystal cup and the other may be for a side dish or dessert. It was at our local thrift store for $1 and it was THE BEST $1 I could have spent! I haven’t decided if I will save it for special times for myself or gift it to a friend, but consider what little extras might add to the atmosphere of a personal retreat. And ignore how silly it might make you feel!
I think that surprised me most – in planning the retreat for myself I kept thinking different planning aspects were over indulgent, that I should just wing it, that things were silly … and then when the actual retreat occurred I found myself thinking I should do tasks not on my planned out list and I thoroughly enjoyed the little “silly” indulgences. So that would be my tip – PLAN for your retreat.
Consider what your objective is for your personal retreat.
While my retreat was focused on planning, there are countless reasons why you might have a personal retreat. Some objectives I have heard friends mention have been: to sleep, to read, to be quiet and pray, to explore new things, to clean the house. I told a few friends about my personal planning retreat and they thought it sounded awful … I loved it. Planning is really fun for me, so it was totally what I wanted on my personal retreat. House cleaning? Not so much. But I know if I hadn’t stated my objective I would have felt guilty and spent most of my time cleaning and organizing the house.
Consider what you will do during your time.
Whether you have two full days or six hours, plan what will happen and when it will happen. You know yourself best and how loose or how structured it should be. My plan was as simple as writing MONDAY and TUESDAY on a piece of paper and listing a few things I wanted to do under each day. But it turned out to be super helpful to have that plan to follow! I never would have kept an hourly schedule, or even a more detailed one. But if you would, plan it out!
Consider what you will fill your mind with.
Whether you love reading or struggle to get through a page, consider ways to nourish your mind while on your personal retreat. Spend some extra time in God’s word and in prayer. Find an inspiring playlist on Spotify. Enjoy a new type of reading material or style. Feed your mind!
Consider what you will eat.
The need to feed our bodies is a little more obvious than that to feed our mind, but without planning it out you might be regulated to leftovers or a peanut butter sandwich. And maybe for you that wouldn’t matter at all. But consider if you should have some things on hand to make your meals more special, or if you should enjoy a meal(s) out.
Consider what will make it feel special.
It doesn’t have to cost a lot, but consider if there is something you can buy, or if there’s something you could set up using what you already have (a cozy place to sit and read, a pretty table setting, a cozy blanket if you’re going away somewhere) that would add to the atmosphere of your personal retreat.
One thing I want to add is the day before my personal retreat I had a six hour drive by myself as I was driving home from dropping our boys off at camp. I decided to take advantage of that and spent some time by myself in nature, stopping at some waterfalls on the way home. It was so peaceful and beautiful, but had that not been a part of my pre-retreat, I would have tried to find a way to include time enjoying nature into my actual retreat … I sort of did on my retreat, but just by spending time in my own garden. I didn’t go out exploring. But regardless of the how or where, I think time in God’s creation is important for our souls and would encouraging finding a way to do that if you create your own personal retreat.
I hope this is helpful as a springboard for consideration for your own personal planning retreat! All you can do is start and adjust as you learn more about your own needs for recharging and growing, but absolutely invest some time into planning for the personal retreat so you can make the most out of it! I would love to hear about what works for you for personal retreats!
